Untitled.

Yes, I miss you. More than you know.

Ephesians 4:25

 ²⁵ Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. 

Eve Carson

I just finished reading an article about a young woman who was murdered a few years ago by the name of Eve Carson. You’ve probably heard about her, she was the University of North Carolina student president who was robbed and shot in Chapel Hill in 2008. She was a Morehead Scholar who spent summers traveling abroad to help in medical fields across the world. In her too short time here she accomplished ten-fold of anything I have to this date. When I heard about the story a few years ago, I talked to my friends who were attending UNC and all of them said that Eve was a person they wanted to be like. She had a genuinely optimistic outlook on every situation in life and would rather look at the good in someone even if they had wronged her. None of it is what stuck out to me though. The article was about a new statement by a witness who said that Ms. Carson asked her killer to pray with her before he did it. He testified “She wanted them to pray together.” Wow. I don’t think this is something that I would ever even think of doing in my last moments, especially knowing that someone had it in their mind to murder me. And that’s a sad thing to think. I mean, just last night I was eating dinner with a friend of mine, someone who I’ve known for 3+ years now and I know has a heart that is fully in love with Christ and the thought crossed my mind very briefly that I should ask to prayer for our meal but then I became afraid to do so. I was afraid to pray openly with a friend of mine.  And this isn’t a new feeling for me. Yet here was this girl who was in acceptance of what was happening to her and she wanted to pray with a man who was going to take away a future that was shining so bright. Sometimes I’m so afraid to be open about myself and the things that I hold dear in fear of being rejected by others. After reading this, I realized just how childish that is. As Christians, we’re called to ask and seek so that we can find what God has in store for us. Sometimes I wish it were that easy. I think that if it were, then it would be something I would do more often. Maybe it is that easy though and I’m just missing out on something that God is putting right in my face. Regardless, I wish I were more like Ms. Carson. That I could be open and prayerful in any situation. That I could face a tribulation so dark yet have my mind completely focused on the Lord and want to share His love with someone who was hurting me, my family, or my friends. So that’s my prayer for tonight, to be more like Eve Carson. Her story reminded me of Psalm 107 and I think her story paints a beautiful and accurate representation of God’s calling for all of us.

²⁸ Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble,
   and he brought them out of their distress.
²⁹ He stilled the storm to a whisper;
   the waves of the sea^[b] were hushed.
³⁰ They were glad when it grew calm,
   and he guided them to their desired haven.
³¹ Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love
   and his wonderful deeds for mankind.
³² Let them exalt him in the assembly of the people
   and praise him in the council of the elders.




(http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/12/15/eve-carson-unc-pray_n_1152210.html)

31

Lake Norman

Knoxville-- Credit to Cody Bennett

Matthew 16:18

So I really have been slacking with getting this blog going since I've been in Italy. I've been here since last Wednesday and obviously haven't blogged at all. Way too much has gone on to even be able to tell the half of it so I'll just focus on the most important event for me thus far and save some funny stories for days when I have nothing else to say.

I really can't express in words just how beautiful this city is. Yesterday, I spent a few hours at the Vatican and St. Peter's Basilica. It is the single most astounding piece of art that I have ever seen. After taking some pictures for a while, I moved into the Basilica and actually started to tear up when I realized where I was and what it meant to be there. I was literally standing on the spot where the church was built. The past week I've been struggling with finding my time to spend with Christ and here I felt more full than ever before. I then experienced a top 5 moment of my life. While in the square, I had met an Italian couple who spoke a bit of English and spent some time conversing with them as we were taking pictures (Side note, it is such a joy to hear someone else speak English when not with other students..its so overwhelming to not be able to speak to anyone on the streets). When inside St. Peter's, I ran into them again and they asked me if I wanted to sit at Mass with them. Now, I've never actually attended a Catholic mass so I had no clue what was going on to that respect. To make matters even worse, it was all in Latin so I had no idea what was even being said. Regardless, just to stand there and pray inside the walls of such a historical church was a moment that I'll never forget. One could feel God's presence sweeping through the room as hymns were sung and His word was spoken at a level I've never experienced before. Needless to say, it was the blessing I needed more than anything to finally feel comfortable in this new home and reminded me that even as I feel lost and scared, God is just as near here as He is back home in the states. I pray that I keep myself mindful of this fact for the next 4 months and allow myself to sense Him wherever the journey He has laid before me goes.

And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it.

Pilot

As life moves on and people pursue their various goals, its quite a common thing to see them change and adapt either those goals to fit their lives or to change themselves to fit their goals. Lately,all too often I find myself questioning which one of those groups I fall into. Am I changing myself to fit the goals I have set for myself or have I changed the things I've sought after for years to fit the person I am? So what's the answer? In Romans 12, Paul calls us to stop being conformed by the world and to rather be transformed by renewing ourselves in Christ.  He continues by saying that if we do so, we'll be able to find His will for us. I think ultimately that is the thing that I am searching for most. What is God's plan for me? How do I fit that into my goals and adaptation of my life? I don't expect to find these answers soon or easily, but I'm praying they are shown to me over the next few months as I spend a semester abroad in Rome and after.

I see the semester abroad as an opportunity to transform myself into the person Christ has called me to be. While I can't be sure that this is the reasoning Christ has called me to leave Knoxville and those I love for a few months, I hope I can continue to faithful to whatever it is He does call me to do. So here's the purpose of this blog; To keep both myself and whomever else decides to join me on this journey aware of where I'm at this next semester in both life and my walk with Christ. I don't know if any of this makes sense and I'm probably horrible at this, but I hope it is somewhat enlightening both for myself and you. Goodnight.

Just want to give a shoutout to miss Delaney..she's the one who inspired me to do this. Such a sweet, sweet friend.